Insanity- Yullen
by 17funnyface
Summary: Allen is admitted to an insane asylum for hurting one of his friends. Despite everything that has happened, a so called "uncaring" swordsman is the only one to stick by the boy's side. Yullen.


Disclaimer: I do not own d gray man, but wonderful hoshino-sensei does!

Warnings: angsty, boyxboy love, inaccuracies of what they actually do at asylums, Kanda's mouth

Enjoy~

:~:~:~:

Loud footsteps accompanied by the splash of water.

The deafening noise of sirens going throughout the city, joined by the shouts of the policemen.

The calls of the people that worked at that horrible place, beckoning him to come back.

The short breaths of a boy running from people that he once thought of as friends, as family even.

But that's all over now. His "family" is out to kill him, believing the lies of that bastard Rouvelier. The boy has a large gash in his side, blood pouring from the wound with every step he takes. But he can't stop. He has to keep running.

'I can't hurt anyone else' he thinks as he runs. His breaths slowly start to become fewer and far between, footsteps getting heavier as his vision begins to blur.

'I can't... hurt... anyone else...' the boy begins to slowly stumble and swerve, his senses giving one last push so that he can hear his own heart pounding in his chest. then finally, darkness.

:~:~:~:

~eight months ago~

The Chinese girl stared at the older blonde male, surprised at what she had just been told. Tears started to form at the edges of her eyes, threatening to fall onto the hard wood floor below her.

"N-no... He can't be!" Lenalee cried. "L-Lavi... can't be..."

Rouvelier nodded, trying to hide the arrogant smirk that was forming but failing miserably. "I truley am sorry to inform you of what Allen has done," he began, "But what he has done cannot go without consequence. We are admitting him to the phsiciatric hospital tomorow." and with that, he walked off into the dark doorway with a somewhat sadistic looking grin to go along with his cocky stride. Finally, he closed the door behind him.

Lenalee finally let her first round of sobs out, clinging to her brother for stability. Komui held onto her as he lightly patted her back, whispering the common Lie "it's going to be okay" in her ear. This only made her cries for her two best friends louder, her legs grow weaker, and her grip grow tighter.

"It should've been me!" she cried, "He only died because he was protecting me..."

Kanda stood in disbelief. He refused to believe Allen had killed someone, especially someone who meant so much to him. Allen was a martyr, not a god damned psycho killer. Hell, he even cried about killing the mouse that had gotten into his apartment a few weeks ago for christs sake! This whole situation... It just felt wrong to the Asian man.

So many emotions went through him, starting with surprise, then worry, sadness, and finally, anger. The swordsman punched the wall, leaving a hole filled with only rubble, then walked off. He didn't believe a word that blonde bastard said.

:~:~:~:

~five months ago~

"Allen... Please stop screaming... They're only trying to help..." Lenalee said. Tears lightly rolled down her cheeks, leaving small wet trails in their wake. A man next to a big metal machine took another quick look at Allen, then went back to the machines and pulled a switch. Allen let out a blood curdling scream, making slight convulsions joined with a light twitch.

The girl jumped a little at the scream, then covered her mouth to hide the loud sobs now coming from her mouth. She walked quickly away, roughly pulling open the door and letting it slam behind her as she walked off. And she wouldn't be coming back. It was just too much for her.

Allen was hooked up to numerous electrical wires, most of them poked into his skin while others merely wrapped around places that needles couldn't be put into.

The man flipped the switch, and again more agonizing waves of electrical current rushed through the boy. He screamed and arched his back once more at the pain, and when the man put the switch down again Allen fell back down with a loud thump and heavy breaths.

The man opened up the boy's eyelid and shone a flashlight into it like he wasn't even alive, then roughly picked him up while saying something into a small device. A few minutes later, a woman, probably a nurse, came in and unwrapped and pulled out the metal wires from the white haired boy's body, then led him out of the room.

Allen stiffly walked back to his cell with the aid of the nurse,letting the smallest of smiles break through. Despite the way he was treated here, the boy didn't hate this place. It kept him from repeating history, from hurting another one of his friends again... Allen cringed at the thought of his little 'incident' with Lavi. An incident that left Allen bloody, the redhead dead on the cold gravel of an alley, and the Chinese girl crying on her knees, begging the rabbit to wake up. Allen's smile faltered, his face soon covered by tears as the door to his cel was opened by the nurse. She gently placed him on the bed, making sure to get him to lie down. The nurse got up and walked out of the metal door and closed it behind her, leaving Allen behind to his own thoughts. He curled into a ball and started to cry. 'never again' he thought, 'never again will I hurt someone so important' and he finally drifted to sleep.

Though this sleep wasn't peaceful. It hadn't been since the incident.

To people that didn't know him (like the psychiatrists and nurses), he was insane and nothing more. He was sobbing, tossing and turning, biting the pillow, punching his bed, even screaming out for people.

To the long haired man standing outside his thickly locked cell, he was in pain, hurting, grieving, repenting, fighting back at the monster that made him do this. Weather that monster be psychological or an actual living being, Kanda didn't know. He only knew that whatever Allen he was seeing inside that cell was not the same Allen He'd met four years ago. An Allen that cried when a cat had been killed, an Allen that fought for what he believed was right, an allen that was brave while gentle at the same time. This one was scared, cowardly, and didn't know how or what to say for himself.

Kanda turned and walked out of the hallway, heading straight for the glass entry to the building. He'd return the next day and the day after that and so on, but today, he needed to get away from all the madness and chaos that was all locked away into one small, dirty hospital. The only reason he ever came was to see Allen, sometimes maybe even exchange a few stupid insults with each other. But today, with all the screaming and sobbing Allen was doing, that wasn't going to happen...

:~:~:~:

Three months ago:

"N-NO! DON'T COME NEAR ME!" Allen cried as Kanda reached his hand out to him.

"Dammit, Moyashi! It's me, Kanda!"

"I don't know any 'Kandas'! leave me alone!" Allen yelled as he curled up in a corner and began to cry like a child.

Just a few days ago, Kanda had been informed that Allen was slowly beggining to loose his memory with the treatments he was being given. The doctors had told Kanda it was for the better, saying he wouldn't remember killing his friend and would therefore not try to harm anyone. What the elder didn't expect was that Allen would have forgotten him along with the past ten years of his life.

When Kanda was there, the boy would scream out for Mana, his foster father that had died in a car accident long ago but Allen didn't remember that. He'd demand to know why he was there, why they wouldn't let him speak to Mana, then begin to cry like the child he was ten years ago. He'd tell Kanda to go away, call for Mana, asking for his long gone foster father to get him away. Of course, that never happened, much to the boy's dismay.

Kanda sat there in shock as Allen pulled his knees closer and closer the further the elder got to him. Kanda figured Allen believed that he was a stranger, hiding from him in fear that Kanda would harm him. The elder backed away, knowing he would only make it worse the harder he tried to make Allen remember. He felt a tear threaten to come out, but quickly held it in. He was NOT about to let his dignity go down the drain.

"I'll be going then. Bye, Aren." Kanda said, picking up his jacket to leave. Allen's head shot up at the mention of his name, a tear beg ginning to form in his eye.

Allen whispered a light "Thank you, Bakanda..." before Kanda walked out the door, and to the white haired boy's happiness, Kanda didn't hear.

The elder shut the door behind him lightly, though the heavy metal doors still made a loud enough bang to make Allen jump a little. Allen lied back into the corner of the small room, a forlorn look running across his face. 'It's for the better.' He thought to himself. Allen was trying to drive people away, using little tricks (like pretending to not remember anything) to make sure they would never come back, make sure that he could never hurt anyone he loved again...

But no matter how hard he tried, Kanda would always come back. He never saw lenalee after his shock therapy two months ago, and most everyone else stopped going to see him after he pretended to be completely insane. He had even thrown in some hysterical laughing at morbid jokes, a trick the girl named Rhode in the cell next to him had taught him. Of course, her laughing at morbid jokes wasn't fake, but it definately worked to keep people away nevertheless. However, even after playing insanity, even after displaying horrible, excrutiating pain, even after killing someone as important as Lavi, the swordsman never failed to come back.

:~:~:~:

One month ago:

Allen had finally accepted it. There was just no way Kanda was leaving, and he would just have to deal with it.

The elder saw through all his tricks, even when he pretended to loose his memory. Allen had let it slip when Kanda called him a moyashi, and Allen, being the idiot he was, reflexively responded with "It's Allen, Bakanda!"

'so much for that' he thought, smiling slightly at his own stupidity. The boy looked down at the man asleep on his bed, laughing a little at the drool Kanda had running down his chin. During the past month, they had released Allen from the asylum, deeming him cured of whatever insanity he had. He'd managed to convince them he forgot about killing Lavi, though sadly, he hadn't. But since the asylum had a stupid way of working in the first place, they let the boy out after a few weeks of playing like the 'incident' was unknown. Now, Allen was in the hospital after passing out from dehydration, much to Kanda's dismay.

The others hadn't even bothered to show up, though he doubted they had even gotten the word in the first place. Most of his "family" were out of the country at that point, while others just didn't believe he could have gotten better so quickly and still kept their distance from the "murderer". Kanda, however, was a completely different story. After all, being with Allen in the hospital for something as petty as dehydration was QUITE the step down from him being with Allen in an asylum for the boy KILLING someone.

Allen twitched a little as he remembered the 'incident', and yet again tears began to form at the edges of his eyes. But he didn't hold them back this time. He let them make their trails down his cheeks and make that final wet circle on the sheets that covered him. He just hoped Kanda wouldn't wake up while he was-

"Moyashi?"

Allen blushed. He'd been caught.

"What're you crying for?" Kanda asked.

"N-nothing, bakanda!" he said, covering his face with his hands, trying to stop the tears from flowing. However, this only resulted in the boy crying harder this time. Kanda sat up, a small look of surprise flashing across his face for only an instant, though it was soon replaced by another scowl. The swordsman sighed and lifted up his hand to wiped a tear away.

"Che. You know, it's okay to cry over someone you love." Kanda said, remembering the times he... may have cried a little while Allen was in the asylum... But there was no way in hell he would ever admit to that happening. Ever. Besides, it was only once!

Allen let more waves of tears flow out. Kanda put his hand on Allen's cheek, and Allen nestled into it more, enjoying the small comfort the calloused hands brought. The boy didn't feel like fighting back with Kanda right now. Right now, he just wanted to take back everything he'd done, from hurting a close friend of his to trying to push away the man in front of him. But since he couldn't turn back time, taking comfort in the same person he tried to push away was the best he was going to get.

"Th-thank you, Kanda." Allen said between sniffles. Kanda only "che'd" before wiping off the last tear. This wasn't the first time Allen had cried like this, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

Allen fell asleep about ten minutes later. His sleep had become less violent since getting out of the asylum, though he still whimpered and cried a little. His right cheek was still nestled in Kanda's palm, however this time his own hand was wrapped around it, almost like he was a child clinging to a teddy bear in his sleep.

Kanda removed his hand, which made Allen whimper slightly before going back to sleeping. Kanda smiled just a bit, thinking Allen looked kind of cute when he did this. The elder picked up his jacket, leaning in and placing a small quick kiss to the younger's lips. Needless to say, Kanda had a dark blush on his face. He picked up his jacket and was about to head out the room when-

"Bakanda?"

The swordsman turned around to see Allen' face, cheeks a bright rosy red, and eyes as large as a golf ball. He'd woken up right as Kanda kissed him, and though it was VERY short lived, he remembered every little millisecond.

Kanda only started at Allen, face completely red. "I-I'm... sorry..." he said before quickly rushing out of the hospital room. He'd have to come back to pick up Allen once the hospital released him, but for now he'd like to avoid a little embarrassment.

"N-NO! WAIT! KANDA!" Allen called out to the other male, but Kanda only kept walking.

About an hour later, Kanda came back to get Allen and take him home, completely avoiding eye contact with Allen, which Allen didn't like.

And what happens between the two when one of them doesn't like something about the other? A fight, of course!

"Bakanda why the hell do you refuse to look at me?!"

"Maybe because a stupid little moyashi like yourself keeps staring at me like a weirdo!"

"My name is ALLEN! And oh, I'm the weirdo, Mr. Prince Charming?! Your the one who went and kissed me out of nowhere!"

"Well maybe if you weren't so damn cute I wouldn't have!"

"Well maybe if you'd kept those beautiful lips to yourself we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"You call this a conversation?! You're the one the one yelling at me like a maniac!"

"Bakanda, you're yelling to-" Allen couldn't speak anymore, his lips were closed against Kanda's with the elder's hand clamped around his collar. Allen felt himself slowly let down his guard, sinking into the kiss. Both his and Kanda's faces were a deep red, neither caring that they had just been fighting like an old married couple seconds ago.

Both finally stopped for air as Kanda let the boy down from his grip. they smiled at each other, then began to walk home (they'd been living together since Allen's own bills couldn't be paid without a job, and after only being released from the asylum a month ago, no one would hire him.) hand in hand, not caring about the weird glances or "dawwww"s they passed here and there. To them, the only people on earth were each other. Or at least that was all that mattered to them.

:~:~:~:

Ten days ago:

Allen laid against Kanda's muscular chest, playing with the elder's hair. It was soft, and Kanda was asleep, so why not? He twirled his fingers through the tresses, combed through it, traced it from the roots to the bottom, slid it in between his fingers... And all the while Kanda stayed silent with sleep. Thankfully, or else he might have been killed with mugen.

Allen stopped playing with his hair, feeling like he was about to fall asleep himself. He snuggled in closer to kanda, and suddenly felt an arm wrap around his small form. He looked up to see Kanda still sleeping soundly, his chest making even up-and-down movements. 'must've been a natural reaction' Allen thought sheepishly, blushing slightly at Kanda's antics before laying down and falling asleep.

And ever since he'd been with Kanda, he'd had less and less of the terrible, murderous nightmares. His sleep was slowly starting to become peaceful again, though he'd still occasionally whimper in his sleep. He loved the way things were now, even though he still held guilt for killing one of his best friends. But even so, having Kanda right there was all he needed. 'if only it could stay this way'

:~:~:~:

Two hours ago:

Rouvelier was hunched over Kanda, watching the Allen's every move, willing him to continue. Kanda was on the floor beneath Allen, struggling to break free from Rouvelier's grasp.

"Come on... Just put the knife through him already!" Rouvelier barked at the younger male.

Allen tried so hard to keep his knife-wielding-hand from going down on Kanda. It was as if some kind of force was pulling his hand down, trying to force the knife through the other man's chest. Kanda struggled under Allen to break free, but Rouvelier was holding Kanda's hands down with an inhuman amount of weight.

"Stop struggling, Boy, and maybe I'll have him make it quick and painless." the blonde said with a sadistic smirk playing across his face.

Allen was crying hysterically, trying to fight back at whatever was willing him to do this... To hurt yet another person he cared about. Last time, he was so powerless to fight back. The force took him down like it was nothing, taking its time with hurting the redhead, making it as painful as possible...

But not this time. This time, he would fight harder, keep himself from killing again.

"Hurry up or I'll kill the both of you myself!" Rouvelier yelled at Allen.

"Don't listen to him, Moyashi! He can't do a damn thing and you know it!" Kanda half yelled, half cried to Allen. He had known from the beginning that it wasn't Allen's fault, he just never expected... This.

Allen was trying his best, trying to think of a way to get himself out of this mess, when suddenly... An idea popped into his head. One Kanda would surely hate, but that didn't matter, not when the person he loved was about to be killed.

Allen struggled to point the knife at himself, though eventually he had it going to where it was a clear path straight to his abdomen. A sad smile crossed Allen's face, knowing the one he loved would be alright.

"N-no... Aren, don't you dare!" the swordsman yelled, tears already coming out of his eyes.

"Goodbye, Kanda." He whispered hoarsely. He plunged the knife straight through himself with everything he had left, a light smile running across his face.

Both Kanda and Rouvelier's eyes widened in shock, the Blonde momentarily forgetting about the man under him as he loosened his grip a bit. Kanda took this opportunity to quickly slip his wrists out from the hold, getting up and grabbing mugen right beside him.

Allen watched from his bloody spot on the ground as Kanda pointed the katana at that horrible man.

A surprised look crossed Rouvelier's face for only a second, before arrogant smirk spread across the blonde's face as he put his hands up, slowly rising to his feet. "Alright, alright, you win. I guess I'll just be on my way then~" Rouvelier said, not-so-subtly easing his way towards the front door.

"No fucking way in hell am I ever letting you come near my moyashi again." Kanda spat at the man. The swordsman lifted up his katana, and brought it down with full force through the man's stomach. The tearing of the bastard's skin almost calmed Kanda had it not been for the fact that Allen was still nearly dead on the floor. Blood trickled off the pointy end of the sword, slowly making its way over the curb then falling sadistically to the ground. Rouvelier spat out blood , eyes widened in complete shock that the swordsman could even lay a hand on him.

Kanda smiled, then whispered into the other man's ear, "Burn in hell, you peace of shit." he removed the sword slowly so that the man would feel it more, hurt longer. The man finally fell with a hard, loud thump, his own blood seeping out of his stomach.

Kanda turned around, his main concern now for his lover.

"Beansprout are you o-" but Kanda saw nothing save for a large blood spot and the knife Allen used to stab himself.

"Oh god... no." Kanda whispered to himself. He looked around, and seeing no white mop of hair in sight, he ran with all his speed out of the house, not even bothering to grab his coat on the snowy night. He had to find Allen before he bled to death, or worse, Rouvelier's "dogs" found him, which would only lead to the poor young boy being thrown in the asylum yet again.

And so, Kanda ran, following the trails of blood Allen left. Soon, the sirens started going off as they had probably found the mayor's body in Allen and Kanda's house by now. The sirens made Kanda run faster, hoping to god that they wouldn't find Allen before he did.

Meanwhile, Allen was running. The boy had a large gash in his side, blood pouring from the wound with every step he took. But he couldn't stop. He had to keep running.

'I can't hurt anyone else' he thought as he ran. His breaths slowly started to become fewer and far between, footsteps getting heavier as his vision began to blur.

'I can't... hurt... anyone else...' the boy began to slowly stumble and swerve, his senses giving one last push so that he could hear his own heart pounding in his chest. Then finally, darkness.

:~:~:~:

Now:

Kanda finds Allen passed out on the ground with yet another pool of blood surrounding him. The first thing the man does is check his pulse to see if he's still alive, then breaths a sigh of relief when he feels a faint beating beneath his fingers. Kanda picks the boy up bridal style, being careful of opening the wound in Allen's abdomen further.

"Guys! the trail is going this way!" One of the policemen yells, his voice followed by many others along with the sound of crunching snow beneath feet. This is Kanda's que to get the hell out of there, again running as fast as he can as Allen's head bobs a bit against the elder's chest. The swordsman's legs are beggining to hurt, but Kanda ignores it. He knows if he doesn't keep running, both him and Allen are as good as dead.

But it didn't really matter now. A loud bang goes off, and kanda feels something sharp go through his back and out his middle chest, barely missing Allen by a hair. Kanda stops in shock, looking down at the blood pouring out only inches away from where his heart is. But once Kanda realizes what has happened, he starts to run again, only just a bit slower this time because of the pain. 'I can't let them hurt him again.'

The police's voices are starting to become more faint as they've lost Allen and Kanda's trail of blood along with the swordsman's footsteps, the heavy snow covering them up almost as soon as they are made.

'Thank God.' Kanda thinks. He feels happiness wash over him, taking comfort in the fact the police probably wouldn't find them with this turn of events. However, with his luck, his moment of happiness is soon washed out.

His legs finally give out, Kanda collapsing into the snow with Allen above him. he can feel both of their blood below him, mixing with each other as they begin to seep through the pure, white snow.

Kanda smiles, amusing himself with the fact that Allen's hair perfectly blended into their surroundings. Kanda begins to play with Allen's hair, twirling his fingers through the tresses, combing through it, tracing it from the roots to the bottom, sliding it in between his fingers... Allen wakes up because of this, being the light sleeper he is.

"Y-yu? Wh-what are you doing here?" Allen croaks out, then he looks at the pool of blood surrounding the two of them.

"O-oh god... did I... Did I do this?" A look of worry and sadness crosses Allen's face.

Kanda laughs a little, then smiles one of his rare, beautiful smiles. "No, not this time, Aren."

Allen smiles at his own name being used, and blushes a little at the fact that Kanda said it with his accent. Kanda pushes out his hand to cradle Allen's cheek like he did in the hospital, and again Allen nestles into it, tears rolling down both of their cheeks.

"We're going to die, aren't we?" Allen asks, already knowing the answer.

"Y-yeah..." Kanda says, looking down from Allen's gaze.

"Then we'll go together." The younger proclaims. He lifts Kanda's chin up and plants a long, passionate kiss on the other's lips. It seems like it lasts forever, though in reality it only lasts for about ten seconds. Both of them take in the moment, believing it to be their last moment that they would have with each other. They pull away, both have their eyes closed now as they intertwine their fingers with each other's.

Kanda whispers out one last "Together, Aren." before both of them see nothing but blackness.

:~:~:~:

"They stuck together in life, and it wasn't any different in death. They were both Kind in their own ways" sniffle "And they made everyone's life hell with their married-couple bickering." light Crowd laughter "But I wish them both luck in heaven, where they'll stay together just like they were in life." and finally, the tears flowed as the chinese female walked off stage, her words having ended the funeral.

The sound of people getting up off of the benches and the beginnings of conversations echoed through the church building. People began to file out through two big wooden doors on the right side, each step being mockingly loud.

Komui greeted the crying Lenalee at the bottom of the steps, opening his arms wide as she practically crashed into her older brother. He wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his chest. The last of her friends were gone. She had only Komui left, which wasn't bad. In fact, she was grateful she still had him, thankful she still had someone to lean on.

The two walked away from the black clothing and sad aura surrounding the area, Lenalee still crying as komui led her to the car.

The two were to be buried right next to each other in the town's cemetery, one headstone covering both their graves with their names written on it.

Unfortunately, Rouvelier lived, but he was soon on the run as they had figured out what had happened the night Allen and Kanda died. They still haven't found him, although rumors were going around that he had already died. He was a pathetic man, really, His position in life being the only thing he had.

As Lenalee got into the car, she could have sworn she heard Lavi's voice calling her name, but discarded it, knowing it was only her imagination. It was cruel, really, how love could make you insane. You'd throw away your life for the other person, but that would only leave the other person to mourn over you.

Kanda and Allen's situation was the rare case that ended peacefully for both people. It was ironic, really, how they had even died together. No one could recall a time after the 'incident' that they hadn't been. Neither of them had to wait for the other, they'd been together since they first met. And it was going to stay that way.

~fin~

:~:~:~:

Yes, I know, corny with a bad ending... I'm sorry ;-;. But review anyways? They make me very happy! Flames will be used to burn the horribleness of the story! By the way, gomenasai for any ooc in any of the characters... Thank you, and see ya later~


End file.
